Here's My Heart
“Here’s my heart, Lord.” That is a phrase that I have been reminded of over the last couple of weeks. I feel like I’ve said it a lot lately, but it reminds me that I have a choice every single day to wake up and choose to live for God or go my own way. While most days I choose to go my own way, there always comes the point in the day where I realize that I can’t do it on my own and that I chose wrong.
In the last month, I’ve had the opportunity to attend three youth events. The message that stuck out to me the most was an acronym, SCRIM which has in turn connected with messages from other speakers. The S stands for Search. Not only can I say “here’s my heart” but I have to follow that with asking God to search my heart. That searching of my heart leads to the confession. Not just saying sorry, but rather agreeing with God that I deliberately sinned against Him. In that confession, I also have to realize that He is present in my life despite what I might be feeling. That’s where the I comes in in SCRIM. I am to ignore the feelings of being alone because Christ is always walking with me. Finally, the M… it stands for “make sure your name is in the Book.” This one I’ve kinda changed in my mind to say make sure your name is in the Book and also make sure to share your faith. Once you’ve accepted Jesus, you are called to share Him.
That’s where I come back to saying “here’s my heart, Lord.” One of my favorite Bible verses is Romans 10:1; Paul in this verse talks about how his “heart’s desire and prayer to God concerning them [unbelievers] is for their salvation.” Here is my heart; use it to fulfill your glory. This is what I feel as I prepare for my gap year and even here at home with here at home with my friends from school. “Here’s my heart” carries a lot to it--all my pain and struggles, all of my messy brokenness, but also all of my joy and my heart’s desire. It’s a phrase that expresses everything on my heart. It’s a constant reminder of my need for Jesus because I am not perfect and can’t make it without Him. It’s a reminder to trust Him daily because He has a plan even though I may not see it. It’s a reminder that He knows all my struggles and worries as I finish out this last semester of high school and prepare for at least two major changes in life. He is present and even though He already knows my heart He wants me to say “Here’s my heart, Lord” because He is the only one who can satisfy my soul.